Jan. 1, 1931 Conceived on New Year’s Day by a Catholic couple practicing The Rhythm System. My father drank a lot and wouldn’t take “NO!!!!” for an answer.

Oct. 1, 1931 Happy Birthday to me. Grew up in New York City, upper West Side, running the streets of Morningside Heights and hitching on trolleys and trucks up and down Broadway and Amsterdam Avenue. Great fun.

June 1948 Graduated Cardinal Hayes H. S. and went to work at the N.Y. Journal-American as a mail clerk.

Oct. 1950 Korea misbehaving. Turn 19 and join the air force.. Texas. Biloxi, Michigan, Alaska and California. 11 rank changes up and down. Honorable discharge after 4 years with 1 stripe, no Good Conduct medal and no re-enlistment talk. But man did I have fun.

Oct. 1954 Back to the old neighborhood and work at the Journal-American selling used car ads over the phone. Meet Marlene.

Nov. 1956 Off to California with Marlene. Get married and work various sales jobs, 3 years selling Yellow Pages advertising, about a year and a half at the L.A. Mirror-News, and brief stints here and there selling desert land, modeling courses, and aluminum siding before drifting into selling cars.

Jan. 1961 Start of “The Auto Years”. I sold Pontiacs, Fords and VWs. I sold GTOs, and Mustangs for full pop when they were hot items, a satisfying feeling after dealing with chiselers and strokers day after da

Nov. 30 1962 Son, Patrick born.

July 30 1964 Son, Dennis born.

Oct. 1, 1964 Quit drinking alcohol. Wow!

June 1966 Move from L.A. to Newbury Park in Ventura County. Sheep graze next door to us.

June 1969 End of “The Auto Years”. Burned out. Hair and beard growing.

June 1970 Goodbye suburbs. Bulldozers have replaced sheep. Markets, gas stations and convenience stores are popping up.

June 1972 Nixon looks like a lock. Goodbye, U.S.A. Hello Trinidad And Tobago. Lots of swimming, music and ganja. Beautiful nine months. Unable to get a work permit, we return.

March 1973 On to Vermont, where we run the kitchen at a rustic, private school for kids who are not living up to their parents’ great expectations. Leave 2 years later due to “creeping preppiness”. Go to work at a textile mill, 7 pm to 7 am shift. Noisy, but fun.

Dec. 1977 The mill closes two weeks before Christmas. California calling.

Jan 1978 Back in L.A. I enroll in Radio School, write intros for Gong Show contestants and wind up out in Lancaster at a country station and from there to KROQ in Pasadena doing brief news stories I call The Quick News and hosting a sunday morning call-in show with Marlene, called, Patrick And The Herb Lady.

March 1981 Need bread. Adios radio, on to the Limo Driver life. Lots of fun, good tips and smoke. Like all limo drivers I had a couple of screenplays and I wound up working on the Thicke Of The Night Show as a researcher where I did a few appearances.

1984-94 Writing short stories, TV pilots and screenplays while working other jobs.

Jan 1994-Dec 1995 Thanks to nepotism, I worked 2 years on The George Carlin Show writing two episodes during that time. George and I both learned to despise “community writing” with tv writers.

Oct. 1, 1996 Turn 65 and decide to retire in the Catskill mountains.

Aug, 1997 Settle in Saugerties / Woodstock area and start working on turning Highway 23, one of my unsold screenplays into a novel.

2000 and on Self-publish Highway 23, The Unrepentant in 2007. George got a chance to read it before he died in 2008 and loved it.

Oct. 1, 2012 Looking for “Quien F!#kin’ Sabe?”, my new book to roll off the presses. Unlike Highway 23, Quien F!#kin’ Sabe? isn’t a story. It’s a collection of thoughts, essays, quotations and poems by fictional friends in my head, like Mister Romance, Allison Wonderland, 47811 Up Above, Dominic Vobiscum, Senator Argo Stropmore, Frank The Wanderer. Ms. Barker, Otto B. Ottohere and others. There are also questions (some with answers, some without) and Stoner Doodles included. No latrine should be without this fine book.